Recently on Digg, there was a “controversial” JCPenny commercial on the top ten list. This is supposedly one of those advertisements that never actually air on TV; rather, it’s some kind of demo reel that directors use to show off their respective abilities (from the article). I’d never shop at JCPenny. I just thought the commercial is definitely worth sharing.
…In fact, I have no words to describe how awesome this is. Watch it for yourself.
What would go well on my car? Maybe a visual testament to my love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Oh dang. Once again, my writing abode has been a victim of my own selfish negligence. People such as Donald, Rebecca, Jack Thompson, and others with lesser lifestyles are undoubtedly upset by this… you know? Maybe I died. Or maybe a Nigerian prince got a hold of my bank account number and stole the better part of my savings. Such a harsh financial situation would definitely make me rethink my decisions on how I spend my money. (Hmm.. web hosting for a week, or food for a week? I’m gonna have to sleep on this.)
But hey - at least I know people care about me. Perhaps I can recap a few things.
“Listen… do you hear that? That’s the sound of your frontal cerebral lobe processing thought. You’re thinking.” - Brandon Rosario
It feels kind of degrading when I can easily take a large chunk of my life and summarize it in a few lines.
I’m going to do it anyway.
So, to regurgitate what I said a few seconds ago, I’m going to go over the major events that have taken place over the past couple of months or so. All of you lifeless people - surfing the blogs of others on your mom’s kitchen computer - can now sleep at night, knowing that at least someone out there can work, be productive, and achieve things that you know you can’t. Ok. Now I suppose I’ll take that back and quit acting like a prick… I guess.
Alright. It’s getting late, and I have to work tomorrow. Hey, don’t worry; I have a good post in the works for next time. Don’t give up on me just yet.
Yesterday morning, I RickRoll’d approximately one-hundred people. It was probably the most invigorating experience I’ve ever had, walking to the front of the room, popping a minus-track into the boombox and singing live to my whole choir class, cheesy dance-moves and all. For the record: They actually liked it. Right in the middle of my performance, the audience gradually initiated a steady clap to the beat, and following the end, I received a thunderous applause… an applause that ascended above any of the others given to other performers. I’m not trying to sound self-flattering either. It’s the god-honest truth.
In the past, my peers in choir seem to have shown a lot of positive feelings toward me, particularly when I pull off stunts like this. This is either because: (a) My performances are really that impressive, or (b) They think I’m retarded.
I suppose it will always be a mystery to me.
I’ll end by posting a picture of me and Miranda from the dance last Saturday (we dressed up as French people!). Click past the break to see more photos.
Or, more accurately, the top ten reasons why I haven’t updated my blog in over a month.
For some pretext: Upon logging in today for the first time in a while, I realized that my version of Wordpress is already outdated. Way outdated. I must have been behind as far as one or two versions (Eek!). School and work have been occupying a lot of my time, which is alarming enough as it is… and using deprecated software is just plain uncomfortable. Woe is me.
Now that I have the updated files copied onto my server, I can finally sit down and write a poorly-structured, half-baked blog post that creates the illusion of me still holding interest in my own web site. And what better thing there is to write about than the fact that I’m so lazy?…
…or, rather, the fact that I’ve been so absorbed in other activities unrelated to the computer, therefore cementing the excuse that I’ve actually been more busy than I’ve been lazy.
First of all, there’s my job. It was only a few months ago when being an unemployed teenager made me worry-free, until my first job decided to walk by and impregnate my schedule with many days of working, smelling like pizza and dealing with the odd, fascinating, and loopy people that are my coworkers. Perhaps this trade-off of giving my time into working at Papa Murphy’s is worth it (rather than simply earning money, I think it does build character). Hmm… that was a pretty corny thing to say.
Then, there’s Miranda. What can I say? This girl is pretty much the light of my life right now. She is, overall, an awesome person to be around - as well as an influence on many of the things I do and think about. I can’t help realizing how she’s made me look at life and how she’s helped me through different situations, big and small.
Sleeping. O glorious sleep. Taking three-hour naps in the afternoon is great. Try it sometime.
Alcohol and substance abuse. Just kidding.
Trance, house, and anything to that extent is awesome. I am an electronic music fag, and if you’re like me, then you’ve realized how abysmal some of the school dances are simply because of the tracks they play. And don’t trick me into believing that you listen to real dance music. Do you enjoy the song “Everytime We Touch“, by Cascada? If so, then you fail. You fail miserably. Go listen to something awesome.
Spring is beginning in full force. Who doesn’t want to go outside and enjoy the warmer weather? I’m tired of Utah’s screwed-up weather patterns. I just want it to end.
I totally forgot what I’m trying to list here. Oh well. Cold pizza sounds good right about now.
After the transition to high school, I’ve come across an important social life skill that all students must learn at one time or another. Well, ok… it’s not absolutely necessary - unless you actually plan on taking a date to the prom. In this case, it’s actually quite critical.
I don’t know about you, but from where I come from, there’s a particular set of rules you must abide by when asking someone to the dance. First of all, it is absolutely unacceptable to simply walk up to your date and ask them in person. This gives them the impression that you are an uncreative douche who probably has a job, a life, or anything else that consumes a good amount of your time (such as calculus homework).
To explain: No one wants to go to the dance with someone with the guts to verbally ask someone to their face. This is why we have an (unofficial) rubric to follow when asking someone out. See below:
This car clearly does not have enough post-it notes on it. Also, you shouldn’t reveal your name in such big letters.
The last bullet point listed above is very important. One of your main objectives is to make your friend invariably hate you because you did graffiti on their car and you wrote your name on it. Of course, they’re not actually going to express their anger at you (If they do, then screw them. They obviously don’t appreciate your humor).
As you may have gathered, it is important that you make them try to figure out on their own who you actually are. There are a number of applications in which you could do it this way. For example: Bake a large and delicious cake, and somewhere inside of it, hide a slip of paper with your name inscribed. Leave it on their doorstep with a message mentioning that they’ve been asked to the dance, but to figure out who, they must look inside of the baked good.
Your date has no choice but to eat the whole cake in order to find your name hidden inside. This will insure that he or she gets a nasty case of diarrhea over the span of at least a day or two, which will then lead to your date actually hating you (which was one of our initial goals).
Understand now? Good. I’m just gonna stop right here because I’m tired of making fun of my local customs. I just hope I got the general idea across.