DanHagen.com

Yesterday morning, I RickRoll’d approximately one-hundred people. It was probably the most invigorating experience I’ve ever had, walking to the front of the room, popping a minus-track into the boombox and singing live to my whole choir class, cheesy dance-moves and all. For the record: They actually liked it. Right in the middle of my performance, the audience gradually initiated a steady clap to the beat, and following the end, I received a thunderous applause… an applause that ascended above any of the others given to other performers. I’m not trying to sound self-flattering either. It’s the god-honest truth.

In the past, my peers in choir seem to have shown a lot of positive feelings toward me, particularly when I pull off stunts like this. This is either because: (a) My performances are really that impressive, or (b) They think I’m retarded.

I suppose it will always be a mystery to me.

I’ll end by posting a picture of me and Miranda from the dance last Saturday (we dressed up as French people!). Click past the break to see more photos.

Continue reading ‘I have reached the apex of my existence’ »

Or, more accurately, the top ten reasons why I haven’t updated my blog in over a month.

For some pretext: Upon logging in today for the first time in a while, I realized that my version of Wordpress is already outdated. Way outdated. I must have been behind as far as one or two versions (Eek!). School and work have been occupying a lot of my time, which is alarming enough as it is… and using deprecated software is just plain uncomfortable. Woe is me.

Now that I have the updated files copied onto my server, I can finally sit down and write a poorly-structured, half-baked blog post that creates the illusion of me still holding interest in my own web site. And what better thing there is to write about than the fact that I’m so lazy?…

…or, rather, the fact that I’ve been so absorbed in other activities unrelated to the computer, therefore cementing the excuse that I’ve actually been more busy than I’ve been lazy.

First of all, there’s my job. It was only a few months ago when being an unemployed teenager made me worry-free, until my first job decided to walk by and impregnate my schedule with many days of working, smelling like pizza and dealing with the odd, fascinating, and loopy people that are my coworkers. Perhaps this trade-off of giving my time into working at Papa Murphy’s is worth it (rather than simply earning money, I think it does build character). Hmm… that was a pretty corny thing to say.

Then, there’s Miranda. What can I say? This girl is pretty much the light of my life right now. She is, overall, an awesome person to be around - as well as an influence on many of the things I do and think about. I can’t help realizing how she’s made me look at life and how she’s helped me through different situations, big and small.

Sleeping. O glorious sleep. Taking three-hour naps in the afternoon is great. Try it sometime.

Alcohol and substance abuse. Just kidding.

Trance, house, and anything to that extent is awesome. I am an electronic music fag, and if you’re like me, then you’ve realized how abysmal some of the school dances are simply because of the tracks they play. And don’t trick me into believing that you listen to real dance music. Do you enjoy the song “Everytime We Touch“, by Cascada? If so, then you fail. You fail miserably. Go listen to something awesome.

Spring is beginning in full force. Who doesn’t want to go outside and enjoy the warmer weather? I’m tired of Utah’s screwed-up weather patterns. I just want it to end.

I totally forgot what I’m trying to list here. Oh well. Cold pizza sounds good right about now.

After the transition to high school, I’ve come across an important social life skill that all students must learn at one time or another. Well, ok… it’s not absolutely necessary - unless you actually plan on taking a date to the prom. In this case, it’s actually quite critical.

I don’t know about you, but from where I come from, there’s a particular set of rules you must abide by when asking someone to the dance. First of all, it is absolutely unacceptable to simply walk up to your date and ask them in person. This gives them the impression that you are an uncreative douche who probably has a job, a life, or anything else that consumes a good amount of your time (such as calculus homework).

To explain: No one wants to go to the dance with someone with the guts to verbally ask someone to their face. This is why we have an (unofficial) rubric to follow when asking someone out. See below:

1. Have you used careful planning? It takes time and patience to plan out a wild and creative way to ask someone to the school dance.
2. Have you spent a minimum of twenty dollars? If you’ve barely spent anything on your little scheme, then you’re obviously not trying hard enough.
3. Is your invitation a pain in the ass to deal with? If all you did was quietly stick some forks in their front lawn and write your name on one of them so your date can find it, then it might not be tricky enough. Try covering their lawn with a thick layer of cement first, then bury the forks in the wet material.
4. Is your date pissed off at you on the inside? If so, then you’ve probably succeeded. Good for you.

This car clearly does not have enough post-it notes on it. Also, you shouldn’t reveal your name in such big letters.

The last bullet point listed above is very important. One of your main objectives is to make your friend invariably hate you because you did graffiti on their car and you wrote your name on it. Of course, they’re not actually going to express their anger at you (If they do, then screw them. They obviously don’t appreciate your humor).

As you may have gathered, it is important that you make them try to figure out on their own who you actually are. There are a number of applications in which you could do it this way. For example: Bake a large and delicious cake, and somewhere inside of it, hide a slip of paper with your name inscribed. Leave it on their doorstep with a message mentioning that they’ve been asked to the dance, but to figure out who, they must look inside of the baked good.

Your date has no choice but to eat the whole cake in order to find your name hidden inside. This will insure that he or she gets a nasty case of diarrhea over the span of at least a day or two, which will then lead to your date actually hating you (which was one of our initial goals).

Understand now? Good. I’m just gonna stop right here because I’m tired of making fun of my local customs. I just hope I got the general idea across.

Every once in a while, we come across something that invokes deep thought - something that influences our decisions and the choices we make in life. Although different things are interpreted different ways, the general idea is always perceived and we still become unique people because of that. It’s like scripture. A bible verse can be have so many spins on it that it basically just depends on what kind of mind you have.

Take for example: A video I came across on Youtube the other day. Even while others disregard it as nothing, I personally saw it as something with a much deeper allegory behind it. This is why I had the urge to share it. Perhaps you can be made as thoughtful and enlightened as I was after watching this.

It’s amazing how you can suddenly gain a girlfriend, new car, a new cell phone, and a new job all at the same time. (At least, they’re new to me).

This is my “new” car: a 1996 Oldsmobile Ciera. Unfortunately, my actual car is not quite as pristine as the one in the photo.

It’s almost scary, because it seems like I was just dreaming about this stuff yesterday. I can’t say I’m overgeneralizing when I say “suddenly” either. My older brother left to serve an LDS mission in California last Wednesday, so what does this mean? The Oldsmobile becomes specifically for my use. His cell phone is handed down to me. On the other hand, my job at Papa Murphy’s - as well as my girlfriend - didn’t happen the same way. Everything develops over time; it just happens to be that all of these things occurred in a similar timeframe.

I really don’t have much to say right now. It’s 1:30 AM as I write this, so I should probably turn in for the night before I go off on any tangents. Check me later.

When last summer’s blockbuster action-movie Transformers had finally hit theaters, I was overjoyed. Despite it’s flaws, it was an absolute blast to watch, and I now consider it a guilty pleasure to watch giant robots fighting each other on the freeway and plowing through large buildings.

However, in the standard batch of previews served up before the actual movie, an interesting trailer had been revealed - a trailer that featured shakycam style filming as well as a decapitated Statue of Liberty.

With these two things alone, I thought “Oh yeah. That movie will be hella-tight.”

Well, not exactly, but Cloverfield was a fairly overhyped movie upon release, and I believe there are a couple of reasons that explain this phenomenon:

• No title. The initial trailer for this film did not give you any hint as to a name. Ooh, whatever could it be?
  
• It looks like the whole thing was totally filmed on some average Joe’s digital camcorder (which isn’t exactly true). However, director Matt Reeves had a lot of balls to create a movie that was filmed with absolutely no apparent stabilization… or at least he simply thought he had a lot of balls. Either way, when people saw footage from the movie and noticed the style, I think they were excited just because of how different it was. It’s like almost no other film.

Hundreds upon hundreds of people have complained about getting motion sickness from this movie. It seems a bit odd - especially because the shakycam didn’t even phase me - and yet, others viewers have claimed to nearly puke. Really. I don’t get it. Does it bother you that much?

The whole experience of Cloverfield is genuinely intense. I would even go so far as to say that it’s actually pretty scary in multiple parts. To be straightforward, I’m happy to report that the overall storyline is not as generic as I initially thought it would be. Filmed from a first-person view, it gives you an idea of what it’s like to be slipped into the shoes of one of the victims experiencing the disaster. It’s (usually) believable, and the character-development makes you truly relate to many of the on-screen personages.

Have you ever seen The Blair Witch Project? No? Neither have I.

I’d strongly suggest this movie to just about anyone. Don’t wait until it comes out on DVD so you can watch it on your grandma’s wimpy 20″ television screen. See the great action films first in theaters, save chick flicks ’till later. You’ll be happy you did.