Dan Hagen

Bow down, dirty console-gaming peasants. As told by the video game ambassador himself.

Christmas, Channukah, and so on. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the suicidally-cheerful tone, and I can’t stand how every single artist feels they have to re-record Christmas music into overdone and overproduced remakes. We don’t need another rendition of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. 38 different arrangements are enough.

If I wanted to listen to Nat King Cole sing about chestnuts or Adam Sandler sing about Channukah, I’ll buy their shitty albums in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.

• Coldplay is Radiohead for people who don’t like Radiohead.
• Johnny Cash is folk/country for folks who don’t like folk/country.
• Gorillaz is hip-hop for people who don’t like hip-hop.
• Owl City is catnip for 14 year old girls who don’t like making decisions.
• Smashing Pumpkins is fecal matter for people who don’t like excrement.

And last, but not least,

• Nickleback is ‘music’ for people that don’t like music.

Ripped from this reddit thread.

Here are all of the video games that I’ve accumulated through Steam over the past few years, but have not finished yet:

• Amnesia: The Dark Descent
• Bioshock
• Borderlands
• Braid
• Call of Duty
• Call of Duty 2
• Call of Duty: United Offensive
• Call of Duty: World at War
• Dead Space
• Deus Ex
• DiRT
• Doom 3
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
• F.E.A.R.: Extraction Point
• F.E.A.R.: Perseus Mandate
• Fallout 3
• Grand Theft Auto III
• Grand Theft Auto IV
• Half Life 2
• Just Cause 2
• Manhunt
• Metro 2033
• Painkiller
• Real Myst
• S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl
• S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Call of Pripyat
• Silent Hill: Homecoming
• Thief: Deadly Shadows
• Wolfenstein 3D
• World of Goo

That is way too many games. There are a handful I’m playing right now, and will likely be finished soon. There are some that I got a long time ago and I started playing, but forgot about. Don’t make fun of me because I never finished Half Life 2. I got really damn far – really far- until I wiped my computer’s hard drive sometime in 2008 and I never bothered to start a new save file. Granted though, I started another one and will be finished sooner or later.