How many X does it take to screw in a lightbulb
| March 19th, 2011There was a recent thread here where people listed their favorite “lightbulb” jokes. These are my favorite.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It’s actually a pretty obscure number, you’ve probably never heard of it.
How many software engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.
How many Rolling Stones fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wouldn’t happen, It could be completely burned out for decades and they wouldn’t notice.
How many members of a minority group does it take to screw in a light bulb? Enough to reinforce my negative opinions of them.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lighbulb? Only two, but how did they get in there?
How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None. PETA can’t change anything.
How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes 4 episodes to do it.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? THAT’S NOT FUNNY
How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb? They wouldn’t. They’d rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out.
How many Freudian slips does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two – one to screw it in and one to hold the penis… LADDER.. I mean LADDER.
How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish. One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb has to want to change.
How many members of group X does it take to screw in a lightbulb? N+1: 1 to change the bulb, and N to act in a manner stereotypical of group X.
How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 37. One to screw it in and 36 to make t-shirts to commemorate the occasion.
How many Apple employees does it take to change a lightbulb? It’s not out, you’re just holding it wrong.
How many Magic: The Gathering players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and the other to tell him how he could have done it two turns faster
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it’s conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
How many historians does it take to change a light bulb? There is a great deal of debate on this issue. Up until the mid-20th century, the accepted answer was ‘one’: and this Whiggish narrative underpinned a number of works that celebrated electrification and the march of progress in light-bulb changing. Beginning in the 1960s, however, social historians increasingly rejected the ‘Great Man’ school and produced revisionist narratives that stressed the contributions of research assistants and custodial staff. This new consensus was challenged, in turn, by women’s historians, who criticized the social interpretation for marginalizing women, and who argued that light bulbs are actually changed by department secretaries. Since the 1980s, however, postmodernist scholars have deconstructed what they characterize as a repressive hegemonic discourse of light-bulb changing, with its implicit binary opposition between ‘light’ and ‘darkness,’ and its phallogocentric privileging of the bulb over the socket, which they see as colonialist, sexist, and racist. Finally, a new generation of neo-conservative historians have concluded that the light never needed changing in the first place, and have praised political leaders like Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher for bringing back the old bulb. Clearly, much additional research remains to be done.