Twilight
No, I’m not going to see the midnight premiere of Twilight. In fact, I’m not going to watch Twilight whatsoever. I have no desire to. I am not a 12-year-old girl living in a false reality about vampires.
It’s not that I’m insecure about my manliness… however, I can’t help feeling threatened whenever I am within a twenty-foot radius from anything Twilight related. And what now? They decide to make a movie adaptation. Hell, why even call it a movie? I think it’s just a 90-minute-long wet dream for teenagers.
I’m not sure how I feel about sitting in a movie theater next to girls who are having orgasms. But I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t increase my chances of going. Does that mean I’m not masculine?
And if I actually did attend a Twilight showing with a bunch of girls, would it be worth it for the hormonally degrading movie?
Conundrum.