Do you ever use hair gel or hair spray? Maybe just occasionally? Only gel? Well, whatever. Assuming that you do use any of these products, let me ask you a question: Ever notice the stupid labels that companies deceptively slap on them? I can’t help wondering why they all have a “mega” hold, or a “super” hold, or a “maximum” hold. This is about all that’s available. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “medium” hold, let alone a “light” or “weak” hold. Allow me to demonstrate.

maxhold

Zooming up on this container of hair gel, it is clearly marked “maximum hold”. Maximum. For the record, the strength is displayed on a scale from one to ten! This stuff must be pretty friggin’ strong. I’d imagine that once applied, it could magically transform my hair into pipe cleaners for me to bend and sculpt as I please (You gotta admit; that would be pretty sweet). But, no. It doesn’t stop there.

megahold1

You gotta love this. Looking at another container by the same company, we see that this is apparently “Mega Mega + Hold”. Unbelievable. Somehow they were able to surpass the maximum, simply by putting a plus-sign in front of the scale. Genius.

dep

A different brand, a different type of gel. Upon closer inspection, it can apparently maintain “Maximum lift“. Lift? Alright. I don’t know what the hell that means, but yeah, alright.

megamegahold

Ooh. Here we have yet another “Mega Mega Hold” type of hair gel, just like the last one, except… look at the scale. The nine digit is highlighted, rather than the ten. Uh-oh. Inconsistent much?

After this particular analyzation, I think we can come to the conclusion that hair gel is pretty dang strong these days (My head is still spinning from the label that implied a hold over the maximum). I mean, wow. How is this even legal?

What bugs me even more - as I said earlier - is the fact that I can’t seem to find any hair gel that’s of a lesser strength. To illustrate my point and make it easier to comprehend, I went into GIMP and sketched up a crappy diagram.

gel

What’s the point of all of those smaller numbers if you’re never going to use them? Pfft.